una carta a los porteños

a letter to the people of buenos aires:

dear porteños,
i like you. i like you a lot--you're all beautiful, you're very friendly, you make out with your signifigant others on park benches, you hire people to walk your dogs--you're quirky, and i like it. but we need to have a talk.

i do not consider myself to be a picky eater. there's not a vegetable that i hate, fruit is awesome, i love carbs, yogurt is good. and i love to eat: restaurants drain my bank account.

and even though i live in LA, i do not consider myself to be a health nut. sure, i try to eat my veggies and whole grains, but this girlfriend loves cookies. still, porteños, we have to have a talk.

potatoes are not a vegetable. they're delicious--mashed, sweet, boiled, plain, salted, with cheese, whatev. but they are a starch. let's just keep this in mind as we proceed.

when you pair your "vegetable", potatoes, with one of your favorite dishes, pasta with cream sauce, there is one color on your plate. one hint: it's not green. there is only one food group on your plate. also, when you give me a plate 12 inches in diameter, piling it 5 inches high with this meal satisfies my body's white-carb craving for 3 weeks. except you like to eat it a few times a week.

another thing: salads do not some served on a bed of white rice. lettuce or spinach. lettuce or spinach. lettuce or spinach.

breakfast is the most important meal of the day. i understand that you all like to skip it, but let me explain something: when you do choose to eat breakfast to be "healthy", choosing to eat white bread with dulce de leche doesn't count.

dulce de leche is amazing: carmely and thick and super-sweet. this means you only need a little, and it goes a long way. you don't need to put a cup of it in between two pieces of cake for dessert: let's try a tablespoon.

i know that you love your beef and bread, but let's try to branch out a little: some veggies, a little dairy, perhaps some beans or nuts. new things! whooo hoo!

that's all.

querida,
ellen